Just so you know

When I read back on these posts I can see how ridiculous they can be, I am aware of it but I'm trying to demonstrate the thought process of an addict as he tries to rationalise, blame others and abdicate responsibility. I want to put it in writing so, when I read back I will spot the warning signs as I start to try to find excuses to gamble again, as demonstrated in previous posts.

Sunday 16 June 2013

Happy Father's day ? Not so.

I was greeted this morning by a text from my eldest wishing me a happy father's day, closely followed by my youngest bursting into the bedroom with similar sentiments as she brandished a school crafted gift.

All good ? Not really.

There is nothing quite so humbling as the unconditional love that a kid can show, particularly when the recipient  has demonstrated themselves to be unworthy of that affection. It could probably be very hard for a kid to realise their Dad is not quite what they believed him to be.

Let's list some of his more prominent traits and words that apply to him, I'll try to go alphabetically to add a bit of structure.

Amoral,
Belligerent,
Cowardly,
Devious,
Envious,
Fragile,
Greedy,
Hypersensitive,
Insecure,
Larcenous,
Lazy,
Manipulative,
Narcissistic,
Omniscient,
Obtuse,
Petulant,
Petty,
Querulous,
Righteous,
Slothful,
Smug,
Spineless,
Treacherous,
Underhanded,
Unforgiving,
Unrealistic,
Vain,
Vainglorious,


and too stupid to come up with words that apply beginning with W,X,Y and Z.

To be honest I'm so depressed having arrived at V that I leave the rest when I resume the flaggelation.

Happy Fathers Day Paddy, your'e the best.

My name is Paddy, I have not had a bet today or since my last post.


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